The terror that Adam's sin unleashed

. . . was the Tyrannosaurus Rex. But Noah let it on the Ark anyway, according to the new Creation Museum. The ambitious 25-million dollar monument to absurdity will re-prove definitively to indoctrinated morons that T-Rex and all his dino pals lived and worked right alongside all of earth's contemporary mammal life, including a plucky species of soft, chewy ape. Details are still to be hammered out, but this information suggests this new complex of learning will follow closely the toddler-friendly Hanna/Barbera theory of speciation.

While many historical museums choose to include artifacts that actually came from history, curators at the Creation Museum are blazing a brave new trail, making sure that everything on display is brand-spanking new.

This "wonderful alternative to the evolutionary natural history museums that are turning countless minds against the gospel of Christ and the authority of the Scripture" will be a beacon to all believers, shining brightly from the cultural hub of Petersburg, in Northern-gatdam-Kentucky.

Strangely, after searching the internet for hours and finding tons of blog traffic on this, I have yet to find any of the site's frequently asked questions actually being asked, by anyone. The questions that are asked, unfortunately have not been answered, questions such as "who the hell are you people," and "Oh God they've given them money." The latter, in fairness, isn't a question.

The organization's website, Answers in Genesis, also features instructions for planting bombs in schools. Ostensibly an indictment of evolution, the cartoonist failed to mention, of course, that bullet-point number 2 has less to do with Charles-gatdam-Darwin than with James-gatdam-Madison.

Then, if you don't feel convinced, browse the archival evidence that evolution is the driving force behind abortion [and feminism], euthanasia [and humanism], racism, misogyny and both Communism and Nazism [fascism] which are, of course, polar opposite movements. Evolution's misogyny is a particular slap in the face to creationists because, before Darwin, keeping women pregnant and in the kitchen had been the exclusive territory of religious conservatives. Frankly they want it back.

Men lost a rib, so women lose their personhood. That's called a balance of power folks.

While they're right about evolution's contribution to U.S. eugenics projects, that kind of Aristotelian end-focused selection bears no resemblance to current Evolutionary theory. The problem, it turns out, is that some zealots thought Darwin's Natural Selection was a path to God, so they forcibly sterilized people with glaucoma.

Eugenics ended not by removing Evolution from science, but by removing God from Evolution.

Yeah I got this from Maureen Dowd, who most likely got it from the 10,000 bloggers that were on it a month ago. That makes me uninformed. I'd like to point out that again she draws the wrong conclusions.